I love a new year! There is so much anticipation and energy to make this year your best year ever! One of the things that is so important, is the concept of starting anew.
I was sitting with my gorgeous mother-in-law the other day, in her house that she has lived in with her husband and three sons for nearly 40 years. It is a lovely house, and she was telling me - yet again - that she was 'wanting' to throw out the clutter in the house, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Her house is like many houses out there I think, which hold the memories of a lifetime. In particular we were talking about these two bookcases that take up an entire wall of the living room, and are filled with - I argued - things she would 'never' use again. She argued she 'might' need them. There was old games, old videos, old books, and the biggest point of discussion was her medical journals and medical books she had accumulated from over 40 years of being a nurse.
After joking around for a couple of weeks - me saying if you need to look up something medical you can use google, and you can get all the books on your iPad - you don't need to keep them - I finally stared at her and said "You know why you're not throwing it out, don't you? And you get that it has nothing to do with whether or not you can find the information or not?"
She looked back at me and said "Yes".
I said "You aren't concerned at all with the objects, you are concerned with what the objects represent".
She said "Yes" again.
I asked her - "20 years ago what were you?"
She said "A nurse".
I said "That's right, now what are you?"
She took a while to answer... then said slowly "A grandma?"
I said "Effing hell yes you are a grandma, and not only are you a grandma - what grandma are you?"
She said "a good grandma?"
"No - you're not a good grandma, you're the best grandma in the world, so what would the best grandma in the world have on the shelves of her bookcase? Would she have medical journals and books?"
She said "No - she would have pictures of the grandchildren"
"Exactly - she would! So why do you have the books?"
And she knew ah ha - I don't need the books.
Are you the same? hanging on to something old? An old identity? An old you? I used to have jeans I wore when I was 16 years old, they were my favourite jeans, and I said as long as I can still fit into my old jeans, I am ok! But should a 30 year old have a 16 year old body? I don't know? But I do know comparing myself to who I was, should not determine my future. Every Christmas, my husband and I go through a de-clutter of the house - clothes out, books out, things out. If we haven't used it, we are not going to use it. The pikelet maker we never used - out. Some people say oh, what a waste, you can't do that, you paid money for that. So what if I did? I paid money for it at a time when I wanted pikelets, now I don't, so I have no need for it any more.
So what are you hanging onto? I love this principle - especially when you think about it in regards to riding and horses.
With horses you can get a lot of clutter - the jumping saddle you don't use, the old feeder that is broken - but you still keep.
What I find even more interesting is the 'unseen' clutter. You know what I am talking about! The clutter of old beliefs, old lessons, old memories.
The clutter that reminds you you fell off last time you cantered, the clutter of horse riding is dangerous, or perhaps the clutter of I can never stay calm at competitions, or I always ride bad in dressage tests.
I play this game with myself all the time when I ask myself - if I suddenly got amnesia - so had no memories, ideas, beliefs or strategies in place for something - would I still be feeling this way?
Imagine if you have a certain fear of cantering - well how do you know that - because of a past memory, and because a past memory is a deletion or a distortion, or a memory of a memory - how could it possibly be reality, and because of this deleted distortion of a memory, or a vague memory, you are letting it impact you NOW and your future... well that gives me giggles! Doesn't it give you giggles? I trust it does! So why are you hanging on to it? Well, like my amazing mother-in-law, at some level you are hanging on to what that memory represents. So why not let it go? It's not who you are anymore anyway... is it? You are not that rider anymore, you are so much more than that.
So this year give yourself the gift of letting go from all the clutter of your past, and your past 'you's' - and go embrace the new you, and the new memories and experiences.
Natasha Althoff-Kelley
http://yourridingsuccess.com/latest-news/
Visit my website for your free ebook "How To Achieve Lasting Riding Success"
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